You play too much Call of Duty when…
-You hit the deck and yell "GRENADE!!!" when you hear something fall next to you
-You yell to your coworkers "COVER ME! IM RELOADING" when you run out of staples
-You grab your boss’s briefcase, open it for five seconds, throw it out the window and say "bomb diffused. Good job team"
-Whenever you see someone standing on a roof, you think to yourself "fucking glitcher"
-You cook everything you throw for at least 2 seconds
-Whenever you hear a helicopter, you wonder whose it is
-You see a soldier on TV has a M203 attached to his M16; you immediately turn it off because he is a n00b
-You run for cover whenever you hear a helicopter
-Your dog jumps on you and you instinctively snap its neck
-You finish a magazine then yell "CHANGING MAG"
-You hold your breath to steady your pencil when writing
-You’re afraid that the UPS guy is planting C4 at your door step
-You see a camera flash and you hit the floor
-You yell "FRAG OUT" when throwing a snowball
-You yell "COVER ME! IM RELOADING" when filling up the Xerox machine
-You hear "damn- We just got our asses kicked" inside your head when you fail a test
-You avoid staircases because you’re afraid of claymores
-You avoid driving near churches because they are good sniper spots
-Whenever someone has a coughing fit, you get into a defensive position because tabun gas cant throw itself
-You run to cover and fear artillery when you hear a whistle
-You say to your girlfriend "outstanding marine! Out fucking standing" after having sex
-You hear dogs barking and in your head you hear "Our hounds will tear zem to SHREDS!!!"
-You yell "CAPTURE THE OBJECTIVE" when entering a supermarket
-You subconsciously include Call of Duty phrases like "Rodger" in everyday conversation
-You have to restrain yourself from knifing someone walking out of an airplane bathroom
-You jump off of a 10 story building because fuckit, you have commando pro
-You give all foliage a second glance because maybe it’s a ghillie
-You walk outside and say "ooohh I haven’t played this map before"
-You’re at a party and you think to yourself "one grenade in that room and ill definitely get a harrier"
-When you’re at a golf course you sprint to a flag, hit the deck and yell "SECURING CHARLIE"
-You scan high rise buildings for snipers
-You see an airplane in the sky and you yell "ENEMY AC130 ABOVE"
-You look out of a window and think "damn this is a great sniper spot"
-You see someone get hit by a car and say "tango down"
-someone walks through the door during dinner and you throw your knife at them
-You can’t stand playing hide and seek because it promotes camping
-You crouch in a corner and pull out a laptop hoping to get some kills with a predator missile
-You’re thankful that UPS doesn’t need red smoke to deliver packages
-You duck tape a GPS device to the side of your paintball gun and start looking for enemies
-You put duck tape on a rock, throw it at someone and yell "STUCK +100"
-You hear a siren and yell "TACTICAL NUKE!!! IT’S ALL OVER"
-You go to a gun store and ask if you can have the akimbo attachment
-You have an uncontrollable urge to knife caged chickens at the market
-You refer to the bus stop as LZ and DZ
-Your friend comes to pick you up and just as he is about to turn onto your street he says "hammer 3-4 this is big bird we're at bingo fuel" and turns around
-You have secret code names for your teachers such as Makarov or Sheppard
-You yell "WE'VE BEEN EMP-ED! ELECTRONICS ARE OFFLINE" whenever the power goes out
-You see a girl skipping and say to yourself, "she’s lagging"
-You reffer to your friends by their gamertags
